I’ve lost all hope of ever blogging regularly again. Just thought I’d get that out up front.

Agenda items:

• N and I took a Greyhound bus this weekend–8 hours total! The ride up was okay. The wedding we attended was sublime. The ride back, though…well, we found ourselves situated next to a plastic bag full of medical waste (I wish I were joking) and surrounded by 19-year-olds in college sweatshirts. Which was worse? Hard to say. I kept muttering to N, “Now I know why that guy cut that other guy’s head off.” And then, as we were passing through Cortland, we saw a guy with a hedge trimmer. “Why don’t you run out there and grab it,” N suggested. “There are power outlets in here, after all.”

• It’s very rare that I read a work of fiction that makes me want to get up, make a few sandwiches, get into my car, drive across country, march up to the author’s house, ring his doorbell, and punch him in the mouth. (I hope that in specifying the author’s gender I’m not ruining this blind item, but let’s just say that this author wrote a creative interpretation of a famous children’s book and also raped and murdered a girl in 1990.*)

• Friend: Hey, what’s your dad’s address again?
  Me: Are you going upstate to tie him up and tell him that god sent you and you’ve come there to wreck everything, and ruin his life?
  Friend: Jesus, what are you referring to this time?

• My Roman Polanski Fantasy Petition (which was initially the collaborative effort between me and my office mate, so credit where credit’s due–he came up with the Powder guy):
  Gary Glitter
  Jeffery Jones
  Jerry Lee Lewis
  Michael Jackson
  Rob Lowe
  That director of Powder whose name I can’t think of
  John Phillips (too soon?)
  Gerard Depardieu**
  Elvis Presley
  Lewis Carroll
  Shel Silverstein***
  Larry Clark
  R Kelly

Anyone has any other names they’d like to add, put them in the comments (Now open! With spam moderation).

*OK that second part is untrue–that’s Glenn Beck.
**I take the opportunity to malign him whenever possible.
***Ask me about that one!