I’ve been awake for just under an hour today and I’ve already attacked a small home improvement task, thrown my hands in the air, and abandoned it halfway through. We bought this water pitcher on Woot the other day. It attaches to your kitchen faucet. The plastic body has these really tight seals, and thus appears impregnable, and yet there’s this piece of cardboard inside that I need to take out before I can fill it. How is that even possible? I’ve tried pulling gingerly on every piece of the pitcher. Nothing.

So fuck it. The kitchen faucet can be reassembled tonight.

Also, from my Facebook feed:


What does this mean? Is this like when the flight attendant asks “Is there a doctor on the plane?” Is it a sign of a new hobby? We can all agree on one thing: Nothing good can come from this. Any etymologist will tell you that the word “harm” hidden within “harmonica” is not a happy accident. Thankfully I no longer work with this person.*

*Ask Maud sometime about the Situationist-meets-Guerrilla Girls prank we’ve been planning for years. It involves harmonicas.

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