Sheer magicAs I’ve mentioned before, there are days when I want to pack up — pack it all in — and move to Florida. So what if I have to be a retail slut again. So what if I have to buy a car. And drive everywhere. And go without arugula.

So what if we’ll have to have kids just to keep ourselves entertained.

So what if people knock down atheist-themed billboards with (what I presume to be) their giant trucks. Because I’ll be living in a magical land of beaches and sun and unironic beer coozies and tiny lizards and where bad highlights and leathery cleavage don’t matter.

In preparation for this parallel universe move, I spend time on the St. Augustine Craigslist, looking for things. Just things. Nothing in particular.

Thus far, I have found

That last one makes me wonder if I should reconsider the move. I don’t want to deal with hog infestations. Especially with the kids around and all.

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