Over at the Rumpus, Elissa Bassist conducts an interview with her ex:

Elissa: I’m continually perplexed as to why you kept talking to me, for what turns out to be nearly five years. That fact alone made me think you loved me, or could love me, circumstances permitting. I wish you’d just cut me off the first time. Because I spent years, actual years, crying tears, actual tears, over you. Like the innocent girl you thought I was, I loved you innocently and deeply and fantastically. You knew this. And you knew how much pain I was in. And you let it go on. I thought that was you loving me. I was always begging you to let me give you a blow job because I was sure you’d love me soon enough.

Dan: And eventually, I came to love the blow job you gave me.

I’m pretty confident that all of us, on some level, would like to do this with one of our exes. With me, I’d probably perform a citizen’s arrest after it was over.

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