I did not watch Sarah Palin’s Alaska last night. I spent most of the day laid up experiencing what might, in another context, be considered “cleansing.”* I attribute it to Indian takeout at 11pm the night before (and possibly the bloody marys earlier in the day — horseradish: nature’s Drano). I *did* catch Walking Dead, which is still gory enough to be enjoyable but getting a little silly, plot-wise. Grimes and his raggle-taggle gang head back into Atlanta to rescue a bag of guns as well as the racist and totally unhinged Merle** at the behest of his racist and totally unhinged brother, Daryl.*** (Because, naturally, that’s what rednecks are named, hurr!)

Speaking of lazy film tropes, I can forgive the melange of regionally incorrect Southern accents. But what was the deal with the fortress protected by the members of Suicidal Tendencies? It was like the costume designer bought a bunch of Vato Loco Halloween costumes, and the truth is that the gang life of Atlanta is considerably more nuanced than a Gang of Hats. And no, before you ask, I am incapable of willful suspension of disbelief.

Oh, and then, back at the camp [SPOILER ALERT!] everybody dies.**** The end!

*But not if you saw the toilet bowl. ::rimshot::
**Played by Michael Rooker, whose first speaking role was in Streets of Fire, which just goes to show that EVERYTHING can be traced back to that movie. EVERYTHING. (Side note: I love him and all but his tweets are pretty goddamned stupid.)
***Played by that guy in that god-awful movie Boondock Saints, which is probably best known as Every Racist American’s Favorite Film. Oh, and also, Willem Dafoe was in it, which only serves to bolster my Streets of Fire theory, above.
****Nah, not really.

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