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<channel>
	<title>too sweet to die</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.derasso.com/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.derasso.com</link>
	<description>dispatches from D.E. Rasso</description>
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		<title>Ten years.</title>
		<link>http://www.derasso.com/2012/07/15/ten-years/</link>
		<comments>http://www.derasso.com/2012/07/15/ten-years/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 15 Jul 2012 15:55:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>D.E.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[As I Am Now]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bitter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[maudlin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[once upon a time]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TEN YEARS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[YAY!]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.derasso.com/?p=3180</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<em>Where does it go? The good lord only knows. Seems like it was just the other day...</em>

Something I just realized: It's been just over ten years since I started blogging. Somehow the anniversary slipped my mind. My blogspot archives are still around. I cringe when I re-read them. I will not link to them now. (You can find them if you look hard enough--anyhow, the least embarrassing stuff is already included in the archives here.)

Maybe I'll have more to say later. In the meantime, <a href="http://derasso.tumblr.com/">visit my tumblr</a>, which is where I spend my time these days.

<strong>Listen:</strong> <a href="http://www.derasso.com/wp-content/uploads/02-Honky-Tonk-Heroes-Like-Me.mp3">Honky Tonk Heroes (Like Me)</a>, by Waylon Jennings
]]></description>
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<enclosure url="http://www.derasso.com/wp-content/uploads/02-Honky-Tonk-Heroes-Like-Me.mp3" length="3353874" type="audio/mpeg" />
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>What I&#8217;m doing this Wednesday: How I Learned to Fight Loneliness</title>
		<link>http://www.derasso.com/2011/08/23/how-i-learned/</link>
		<comments>http://www.derasso.com/2011/08/23/how-i-learned/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Aug 2011 15:11:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[As I Am Now]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dancing Around In Your Bones]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sometimes I read]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[YAY!]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.derasso.com/?p=1855</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<img src="http://www.derasso.com/wp-content/uploads/lonliness-082420111.jpg" alt="" title="lonliness-08242011" width="350" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1860" />
Something I'm very excited (and very nervous) about: I'll be appearing at this month's <a href="http://www.howilearnedathappyending.blogspot.com/">How I Learned Series</a>, which is happening this Wednesday, August 24, at 8pm -- at Happy Ending bar! I'm honored to be part of this lineup:

OPHIRA EISENBERG
(The Moth)
CONNOR GAUDET
(Mr. Beller's Neighborhood)
BRIAN GROSZ
(Lapdance Academy)
CATIE LAZARUS
(Employee of the Month)
D.E. RASSO
(Love is a Four-Letter Word)

Created, Produced + Hosted by
BLAISE ALLYSEN KEARSLEY

It's free, did I mention that? Please attend! I'm bringing a copy of the first book I ever wrote. It's laminated.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Me &amp; Jon Langford: BFFs</title>
		<link>http://www.derasso.com/2011/07/19/me-jon-langford-bffs/</link>
		<comments>http://www.derasso.com/2011/07/19/me-jon-langford-bffs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Jul 2011 17:38:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[As I Am Now]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hipsters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[questions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[YAY!]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.derasso.com/?p=1849</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Over at The Awl, I have <a href="http://www.theawl.com/2011/07/a-qa-with-jon-langford-of-the-mekons">a Q&#038;A with the lovely and hilarious Jon Langford</a>. It was nervewracking, I must admit, because even though he's certainly one of the most easygoing interview subjects I still felt like a total jackass. 


<blockquote><strong>Is there any sort of Mekons manifesto in 2011?</strong>

Not that you'd write down. But I think there's a cloud of mass delusion that this is actually worth doing. [laughs]

I think sometimes, a lot of times in the Mekons’ career, the motivation, more than anything else, seemed to be like a big fuck-off to the world: "I will not be ground down into dust."

<strong>Clearly, the longevity of the band must have something to do with that.</strong>

Yeah, I think it's a sort of persistence. It hasn't been financially rewarding for anyone.</blockquote>

]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Pleased to Meat Me</title>
		<link>http://www.derasso.com/2011/06/16/pleased-to-meat-me/</link>
		<comments>http://www.derasso.com/2011/06/16/pleased-to-meat-me/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jun 2011 15:14:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Adipocere]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[brooklyn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gastronomy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hipsters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lagniappe]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.derasso.com/?p=1843</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last night I went to the <a href="http://www.thebrooklynkitchen.com/web-store/index.php?product=06.15+Fleishers&#038;c=1">this book launch party</a> with my friend T. There was a lot of meat, and even more meat-themed tattoos. It was fun. During the lecture/demo, I was standing next to a woman who had brought her sons with her, one of whom was conscripted to be a human meat model.

Jessica Applestone, one of the authors, asked us, "Does anyone know where the tenderloin is?" To demonstrate, she gestured to the boy's back. "It runs along both sides of your spine. Right there--" she pointed "--and on us, that's a pretty tough muscle, because it holds us upright. But on cows, who stand on four legs, it's very tender."

Naturally my immediate thought was, "I wonder what the most tender cut of meat on a 12-year-old is." And then I felt vaguely monstrous. 

The 12-year-old asked her, very carefully, "What would be the most tender cut of meat on a cow if they walked on two legs?"

"Hm," she said. "That would be the brisket." And she patted her pecs. He looked satisfied with that answer. I know I was. 

So, basically, I am mentally a 12-year-old boy. But not as polished. 

]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Yet another distraction</title>
		<link>http://www.derasso.com/2011/05/17/yet-another-distraction/</link>
		<comments>http://www.derasso.com/2011/05/17/yet-another-distraction/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 May 2011 12:42:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>D.E.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[As I Am Now]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cremains]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happy hands at home]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[YAY!]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.derasso.com/?p=1835</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<img alt="" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll99c4XKc01qk5lgao1_500.jpg" title="Underwood Standard Typewriter No. 3" class="alignright" width="450" height="338" />
Could it be that the tumblr format is just so damn easy in comparison to WordPress? Lately I've felt like the creative equivalent of some dude who hasn't left his chair for two days, bathed in the glow of a video game, scratching his back with a repurposed spaghetti spoon and eating Kozy Shack pudding with his hands.

Whatever that means. Oh, yes: Tumblr is easier.

So, just to dilute my brand a little more, I've created a new tumblr, <a href="http://lovelyjetsam.tumblr.com/">Lovely Jetsam</a>. It's an assortment of old items I've found on online auction sites, things I would probably buy if I had unlimited funds and space. Go check it out. Follow me, if you must.

]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Making my entrance again with my usual flair</title>
		<link>http://www.derasso.com/2011/03/12/send-in-the-clowns/</link>
		<comments>http://www.derasso.com/2011/03/12/send-in-the-clowns/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 12 Mar 2011 06:27:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>D.E.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Adipocere]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[maudlin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[once upon a time]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[YAY!]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.derasso.com/?p=1808</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-1813" title="haunting_images_denim_edwin_1" src="http://www.derasso.com/wp-content/uploads/haunting_images_denim_edwin_1-300x192.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="192" /><em>But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Timothy+3%3A1-5&#38;version=KJV">2 Timothy 3:1-5</a></em>

Is it a sign of deeper mental illness manifesting that <em>I'm</em> beginning to wonder whether current world events are indeed a sign of the coming apocalypse? Are we indeed in the End Times? I hate myself for suggesting this during earthquakes and tsunamis. There are more important things that we should all be considering. But this here I've been thinking about for awhile. Please forgive me. All I know is that I go to Twitter or my tumblr dashboard or Facebook and it's about 1/3 Serious News and 1/3 Charlie Sheen and 1/3 Other Legitimately Upsetting Social Things. I feel like a dilettante trying to comment on any of those topics. But it's not because I'm uninterested. The Internet is full of experts. I'll let them be the experts.

<small>But seriously. Have you seen TV lately? The fact alone that two <em>Jersey Shore</em> cast members have books right now is a sign of...something. There are still <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ac/20110308/tr_ac/8021094_more_dead_fish_this_time_in_california">bird and fish kills</a> going on. (I really expected that to die out before the elections.) And seriously: Has anyone watched the <em>Real Housewives</em> franchise critically? Because those harpies are harbingers of Dark Times, mark my words. I can't watch. It's too hard. Anyhow: We're all gonna die. Enjoy.</small>

So.  I feel effete saying so, but beyond making vague gestures at TV and pointing drunkenly at easy targets, I can't make a better argument than HOLY WALKING FUCK WHAT IS WRONG WITH US. Seriously, though. We're doomed. Start stocking up on canned goods, kerosene, wool blankets, and firearms. Because in 10 years...well, just trust me. Maybe five years, even.

My new shrink (not the <a href="http://www.derasso.com/2010/07/19/night-of-the-hunter-style/">old one</a>, who did the "you-can't-fire-me-I-quit" dance with me this past fall, and I am fortunate she ditched me when she did) is an amazing mix of Zen calm and Texan laidbackitude and he looks like a cross between Anderson Cooper and John Corbett and I don't ever suspect that when we meet he's eager to google a Robert Mitchum film while we're talking. Anyhow, he laughs at my jokes, and I suspect that's part of the therapy, but I mentioned that I went to the <a href="http://www.swissinstitute.net/exhibitions/exhibition.php?Exhibition=105">Karlheinz Weinberger</a> show at the Swiss Institute and he was all like oh, you mean the photos of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halbstarke">Halbestarke</a>?

Which of course it's because he's familiar with because he spent a few years growing up in Zurich. Because that's how unexpectedly cool he is.

We talked about the show, and various Swiss subcultures, for a bit. Their subcultures were far more interesting than ours are. I remarked that the Halbestarke seemed a lot like a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cargo_cult">cargo cult</a> in some way -- or to paraphrase LCD Soundsystem, full of false nostalgia for unremembered eras. He laughed, as I expect him to do. But you look at a photo of a guy who has a hubcap-sized belt buckle with a picture of Little Richard pasted to it, with TEXAS and MEXICO written in bleach lettering on his jeans, and you think, "This happened in somewhat of a vacuum, didn't it."

Which makes it all the more amazing. And of course, the later photos reveal that the cool weirdo rockabilly Halbestarke kids grew into neo-Nazi biker dudes. (But isn't that what happens in all underground movements? Look at <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/09/elgin-nathan-james-gang-l_n_833646.html">that Friends Stand United dude</a> getting thrown in jail. Thugs are thugs. I bet if half those FSU kids liked Oi music better, they'd be neo-Nazis instead of antifa.)

Anyhow, we talk sometimes about compassion. And how compassion for others has to start with compassion for oneself. Lately I've noticed that I'm not feeling a lot of compassion for other folks. Like, in the morning when I'm on the subway I look at little kids who are asleep on the train at 9 am and I'm like WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING YOU SHOULD BE AWAKE YOU ARE A LITTLE BALL OF ENERGY AND THIS IS PRIME TIME FOR YOU. That's pretty hateful, I acknowledge that. In fact, I acknowledge that I'm fairly judgmental of anyone sleeping on the train at 9 am. And I acknowledge that I'm hateful for that. My point is that I'm NOT COMPASSIONATE.

Speaking of, we're heading down to Florida for a few days to see my mom. She had cancer a few years ago, and it's come back. So she has to go in for surgery this week. And regardless of what I may say about her, you know what she asked me a few days ago when I called to give her our arrival time?

"What kind of wine should I get for you guys?"

This is how blood-related people talk to me. We may not fully get along, but we speak the same language.

Anyway, I told her the truth: "Don't worry, we'll drink <a href="http://www.derasso.com/2011/01/04/alright/">almost</a> anything."

We'll be out of town for St. Patrick's Day. I've never been a fan of the holiday myself, but I will say that one of my favorite live shows ever was the Pogues on St. Patrick's Day a few years ago -- N and I went with a friend who had extra tickets and we spent the night on the floor with a bunch of NYFD. The only thing that would make it a bigger stereotype would be me drinking from a flask, which yes, I did.

Prematurely, then, Happy St. Patrick's Day:

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/TaHMG_SvUkw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Shawna Forde Sentenced to Death</title>
		<link>http://www.derasso.com/2011/02/23/shawna-forde-sentenced-to-death/</link>
		<comments>http://www.derasso.com/2011/02/23/shawna-forde-sentenced-to-death/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 23 Feb 2011 19:41:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>D.E.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Danse Macabre]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guns n ammo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[morans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WAKE UP SHEEPLE]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.derasso.com/?p=1801</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In case you haven't heard, <a href="http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Justice/2011/0223/Arizona-justice-Shawna-Forde-death-sentence-a-rebuke-to-border-vigilantes">Shawna Forde has been sentenced to death</a> for the murders of Brisenia and Raul Junior Flores:
<blockquote>Ms. Thomas and fellow jurors were told during the trial that Ms. Forde and accomplices gained entry to the Flores home with the expectation of finding drugs there, which could be sold to finance Minutemen American Defense's border-control operations. Finding no drugs, the intruders made away with inexpensive jewelry but, prosecutors said, not before fatally shooting young Brisenia and Mr. Flores. Both victims were American citizens born in the US.

“I see Shawna Forde as someone who would have liked to have been the face of a movement,” Thomas says.

Arriving at the death sentence was difficult, Thomas says, but it was aided by a picture of Brisenia presented during trial that was etched in her mind: “A little girl, with bright red fingernails; she’s wearing a white T-shirt and turquoise-colored pajama bottoms. She’s on a love seat. It’s a perfect, innocent picture until you realize that half of her face has been blown off.”</blockquote>
Read Terry Greene Sterling's jailhouse interview with Forde (from last week) <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2011-02-15/shawna-forde-guilty-of-murder-exclusive-interview-with-arizona-minuteman/">here</a>:
<blockquote>I know in her mind,” Forde said of Gonzalez, “I am guilty and she hates me. I know her tragedy is extremely sad.” But on the other hand, she said “people shouldn’t deal drugs if they have kids.” (No drugs were found in the trailer.)

Forde told me she’d “lost a daughter” and she knows from experience Gonzalez will feel pain “the rest of her life” and her “tragedy is extremely sad.” “I wish I could say I was sorry it happened,” Forde said. “I am not sorry on my behalf because I didn’t do it.”</blockquote>
Monstrous. I don't think anyone deserves the death penalty, but I am entirely unsurprised that the jury decided in favor of it.
]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Shawna Forde: Guilty</title>
		<link>http://www.derasso.com/2011/02/14/shawna-forde-guilty/</link>
		<comments>http://www.derasso.com/2011/02/14/shawna-forde-guilty/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Feb 2011 23:39:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>D.E.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cremains]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guns n ammo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lagniappe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[morans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WAKE UP SHEEPLE]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.derasso.com/?p=1799</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[From the <a href="http://azstarnet.com/news/local/crime/article_6ae561fe-386c-11e0-9555-001cc4c002e0.html">Arizona Daily Star</a>:
<blockquote>A Pima County jury convicted Shawna Forde today of two counts of first-degree murder in the May 30, 2009 deaths of Arivaca residents Raul Junior Flores and his 9-year-old daughter, Brisenia.

The jury also convicted Forde of attempted first-degree murder in the shooting of Flores' wife, Gina Gonzalez, as well as related aggravated assault and robbery counts.

Gonzlez started crying as soon as the first guilty verdict, the killing of her daughter, was read just before noon in a packed courtroom at Pima County Superior Court.

The jury deliberated for seven hours over two days. Jurors will now be asked if the death penalty ought to be considered.</blockquote>
Seven hour deliberation, with a verdict that took ten minutes to read. More info <A href="http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2011/02/brisenia_flores_verdict.php">here</a>.]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The strangest Facebook friend request thus far</title>
		<link>http://www.derasso.com/2011/02/14/facebook-friend-request/</link>
		<comments>http://www.derasso.com/2011/02/14/facebook-friend-request/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Feb 2011 21:08:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>D.E.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Memento Mori]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vanitas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[once upon a time]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vagina dentata]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[XX]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.derasso.com/?p=1792</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was a Facebook "early adopter" inasmuch as I created a profile in late 2004 or early 2005 so that I could do recon on the undergrads I was supposed to be spotlighting in the marketing publications that I worked on at the time.* Back then, I could see pretty much anyone's profile, provided they attended the university where I work. Mostly, I needed to make sure that none of their profile photos included gravity bongs** and that none of their personal information said anything to the effect of "HITLER WAS RIGHT" or "Embrace Jesus as your personal savior or suffer His wrath." If they passed on both counts, they became a Maybe. If they had academic honors or a special scholarship, they became a Yes. And if they were "diverse" in addition to that, we basically dispatched a limo to go pick them up and bring them in for an interview. Because that's how the world works. 

My own profile was entirely blank, no photo, nothing. I would periodically get friend requests from old college friends, but I'd ignore them, because that's not what I was there for. Now I'm on Facebook every day. I do not remain in contact with too many high school or college friends. (You <A href="http://www.derasso.com/2010/10/25/un-moment/">needn't</a> wonder <A href="http://www.derasso.com/2010/10/25/you-midas-well/">why</a>.) I've blocked a lot of people. (Look: I'm not up to anything interesting. You're not missing out, okay?)

Friday night, I came down with a 102&#176; fever, lower GI nastiness, muscle aches, general malaise, etc. I lay on the couch, wrapped in the amazingly warm and strange blanket my in-laws gave us for Christmas, watching Tivo'd episodes of <i>Tabatha's Salon Takeover.</i> (What.) At some point, I checked my email. Work stuff, sale at Rugs USA, and a Facebook Friend Request from my first unrequited high school crush. 

I was momentarily startled, but also quite delirious, so I promptly forgot about it and went back to sweating, self-pity, and concern that the salon in Palmdale was just plain unsalvageable, Tabatha or no. 
]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The girls I mean are not refined</title>
		<link>http://www.derasso.com/2011/02/08/me-in-esquire/</link>
		<comments>http://www.derasso.com/2011/02/08/me-in-esquire/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Feb 2011 03:04:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>D.E.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Adipocere]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hahaha]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sometimes I read]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[YAY!]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.derasso.com/?p=1782</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<img src="http://www.derasso.com/wp-content/uploads/vday2-300x150.png" alt="" title="vday" width="300" height="150" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1786" />
So <a href="http://www.esquire.com/women/valentines-day-advice-for-men/women-want-valentines-day">this</a> is crazy. How often does my name get to be on Esquire.com's home page? Answer: Not often. And somehow I got to write about romance, which is pretty much the thing I am least qualified to write about (other than cap and trade and taxidermy). An excerpt:
<blockquote>So who are the victors on Valentine's Day? The purveyors of Red Lobster, shitty chocolate, oversize teddy bears holding normal-size teddy bears holding tiny little teddy bears, middlebrow jewelry, and Tawny Kitaaen-inspired lingerie. (Which, incidentally, makes most of us feel like cats wearing costumes. Or surgical cones. I'm sure not every woman has run around in a backwards, drug-addled circle in an attempt to escape a frightening undergarment, but it's not unheard of.) If women had no input on what constitutes an appropriate Valentine's Day present, the output would resemble a Spencer's Gifts collection co-curated by Anton Le Vay and David Lee Roth.</blockquote>
Somehow, what was penned as a bitter jeremiad was massaged into advice. God help anyone who follows it!
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