Last night I went to the this book launch party with my friend T. There was a lot of meat, and even more meat-themed tattoos. It was fun. During the lecture/demo, I was standing next to a woman who had brought her sons with her, one of whom was conscripted to be a human meat model.
Jessica Applestone, one of the authors, asked us, “Does anyone know where the tenderloin is?” To demonstrate, she gestured to the boy’s back. “It runs along both sides of your spine. Right there–” she pointed “–and on us, that’s a pretty tough muscle, because it holds us upright. But on cows, who stand on four legs, it’s very tender.”
Naturally my immediate thought was, “I wonder what the most tender cut of meat on a 12-year-old is.” And then I felt vaguely monstrous.
The 12-year-old asked her, very carefully, “What would be the most tender cut of meat on a cow if they walked on two legs?”
“Hm,” she said. “That would be the brisket.” And she patted her pecs. He looked satisfied with that answer. I know I was.
So, basically, I am mentally a 12-year-old boy. But not as polished.
From the Arizona Daily Star:
A Pima County jury convicted Shawna Forde today of two counts of first-degree murder in the May 30, 2009 deaths of Arivaca residents Raul Junior Flores and his 9-year-old daughter, Brisenia.
The jury also convicted Forde of attempted first-degree murder in the shooting of Flores’ wife, Gina Gonzalez, as well as related aggravated assault and robbery counts.
Gonzlez started crying as soon as the first guilty verdict, the killing of her daughter, was read just before noon in a packed courtroom at Pima County Superior Court.
The jury deliberated for seven hours over two days. Jurors will now be asked if the death penalty ought to be considered.
Seven hour deliberation, with a verdict that took ten minutes to read. More info here.
I should just stop riding the bus:
The other day on the B62 bus (a line that wends its way through nearly all the hipster enclaves of Brooklyn) I saw a hipster guy with a giant ironic mustache and this elaborate Hitler-bangs-side-part hairdo, plastered low to his forehead with a prodigious amount of pomade. From the front it was, momentarily, bus-fascinating.
And then! He turned his head, revealing a large and partly concealed bald spot. The monument to vainglory and fixative resins. The Potemkin Coiffure.
In case you’re having a hard time telling them apart, THIS blog is where I hate people who deserve it. THAT blog is where I hate people who (probably) don’t deserve it.
I’m dicking around with the design. While I practice my CSS legerdemain, things may or may not be borked. In the meantime, please visit the Too Sweet to Die tumblr, where the ease of posting suits my unambitious MO.
Where did she go?
I am lazy. If you're bored, go visit my tumblr, updated daily with other people's witticisms and erudition.Also by me
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